Break that norm

As taught in psychology, society dictates our daughters to be sweet, soft, innocent - feminine. Well, at least what they define feminine as. And if that's not what you are? ... You'll probably be titled as 'different', maybe as a 'tom-boy', sometimes even something a bit more piercing like 'dike' or 'lesbian'. Growing up outside of societal norms is tough going, usually damaging to the girl's self-esteem and paradigms of the world, and more often than not, inhibits her from reaching the point of self-actualization.

I began thinking, though... Women and girls, alike, who choose this lifestyle for themselves are typically and universally rejected... but what about the mothers who such behavior? Is there such a thing? Are these mothers persecuted as well? Above all, though, is it healthy to want your daughters to be this way?

As I watched a Tegan and Sara music video, where one of the girls is psychoanalyzed to the point of drowning, in the end, I started to question how I really wanted my daughters to turn out, in life. For those of you who don't know, Tegan and Sara are twin sisters who are both lesbians (not together) and have formed the self-titled group, "Tegan and Sara". They're both pretty liberal and fairly masculine in appearance... but I love it/them.

I never thought I'd want any of my children to be anything but what they really were, which, without consideration automatically registers as fulfilling the gender role they're handed at birth. Tonight, though, after watching that video, I realized: I don't want my kids, especially my daughters, to feel anything but the truth. Above all, the truth held in their hearts, the real them. If this means they're a frilly ballerina decorated head-to-toe in pink or a basketball star who only wears jersey shorts, so be it. If they want to shave their hair into overgrown mullets like Tegan and Sara, I guess I'm okay with that, too. Is that wrong of me? To cognitively allow my children to be something that society will most likely reject, quite possibly sentencing them to a life of constant berating by those around them? Or would it be better to force them into a life of silent suffering, much like the women of every generation since the beginning of time? Is there a greater evil, a better rather than a best? Am I under moral obligation to steer my children down a path society chose for them?